Yesterday I was gathering some of Beasts baby baby items to send off to Pdub's sister. She is having her baby next week. As I was doing this, I was getting more and more upset.
I AM NOT READY TO PART WITH MY BABY STUFF.
I promptly and properly told Pdubs. That this was all going to his sister "on loan".
Yes, he gave me a funny look.
Ok he says. You can have it back. Then what.
No I am not mentally prepare to accept Beast as my last baby. The last time I would ever be pregnant. (Ya know cuz I make pregnancy look so glamorous and all)
I know this sounds stupid. I know we can NOT afford another baby now or even in the near future. But to say I will NEVER have another baby. It breaks my heart a little.
I have hoarded, and that is the correct word to use, hoarded MOST of Bugs things to pass to Beast. For over 5 years I have had newborn clothing in a rubbermaid container smashed into a storage unit then a closet. I paid to store those things.
I could ramble all day. I won't.
I am just NOT ready to accept that I have had my last baby.
Ugh.
Showing posts with label Pdubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pdubs. Show all posts
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Pity Party for One, by One.
Random Babble
I hate rodents. I am letting my oldest adopt a hamster from our cousin. I feel like a shitty mom lately, so yes, I am willing to let her bring a disgusting rat like creature into our house.
It is no secret that we are broke. Soon, it will be marked as part of our history. Not just days we talk about, but days we will constantly be reminded of every time we will apply for a car loan or anything.
We SUCK.
I am depressed. My husband thinks I am just a bitch. I'll let him think that, I don't want him to know how unhappy I really am. Its not him or the kids, just what I have become I am unhappy with.
Bug is super smart. Kindergarten is almost over! She has a count down. I am more excited than she is. I can't wait til there is no bed time or awake time. Just a pool time!
I think I getting my period, today. (I know, how doesn't she know? is running through your head right now, well they are never consistent and sometimes only last a few hours to a few days) If its for real, then this will be the first time I had a period since October 2009. (minus the 6 week bleed time after giving birth, of which I don't count)
Beast is now 8 months old. She has no teeth. She eats all the time. She is happy, smiley and giggly all day. She stands on her own, holding on to nothing. Soon, I am willing to bet, she will just take a step. She is going to be smart just like her big sister.
I take bug to the library every Monday. At first she was allowed to check out 5 books. That is all my mind can keep track of. As of yesterday, we are now up to 7 books. Do you know how heavy and cumbersome seven books are to carry when you have a baby to carry too? Heavy and Hard!
I just want some one to tell me once, You did good, Amy. Ya know, for more than just finding someone a super deal on something. Surprisingly the last person to say this to me and it was the first time I remember hearing it, was from my father in law. After each of my kids where born.
I am proud of myself for keeping with breastfeeding. It is HARD. I have done it now for 8 months. I plan to stick with it til she weens herself, or around 15-18 months, which ever comes first. Its the hardest thing I have ever done. & I saved us tons of money we didn't have. No only if I could magically train her to use the potty, I could save us tons of diaper money too!
I think about how much money and calories I would save if I was an alcoholics. They have a built in savings plan. If they could quit, look how much money they could save, and look how much weight they would lose. Too bad I don't drink. Can't give up what I don't do. I could save $ and lose weight! WIN WIN for alcoholics.
I am jealous of alcoholic, I am an ASS.
This totally turned into a self pity session.
I really do suck.
I hate rodents. I am letting my oldest adopt a hamster from our cousin. I feel like a shitty mom lately, so yes, I am willing to let her bring a disgusting rat like creature into our house.
It is no secret that we are broke. Soon, it will be marked as part of our history. Not just days we talk about, but days we will constantly be reminded of every time we will apply for a car loan or anything.
We SUCK.
I am depressed. My husband thinks I am just a bitch. I'll let him think that, I don't want him to know how unhappy I really am. Its not him or the kids, just what I have become I am unhappy with.
Bug is super smart. Kindergarten is almost over! She has a count down. I am more excited than she is. I can't wait til there is no bed time or awake time. Just a pool time!
I think I getting my period, today. (I know, how doesn't she know? is running through your head right now, well they are never consistent and sometimes only last a few hours to a few days) If its for real, then this will be the first time I had a period since October 2009. (minus the 6 week bleed time after giving birth, of which I don't count)
Beast is now 8 months old. She has no teeth. She eats all the time. She is happy, smiley and giggly all day. She stands on her own, holding on to nothing. Soon, I am willing to bet, she will just take a step. She is going to be smart just like her big sister.
I take bug to the library every Monday. At first she was allowed to check out 5 books. That is all my mind can keep track of. As of yesterday, we are now up to 7 books. Do you know how heavy and cumbersome seven books are to carry when you have a baby to carry too? Heavy and Hard!
I just want some one to tell me once, You did good, Amy. Ya know, for more than just finding someone a super deal on something. Surprisingly the last person to say this to me and it was the first time I remember hearing it, was from my father in law. After each of my kids where born.
I am proud of myself for keeping with breastfeeding. It is HARD. I have done it now for 8 months. I plan to stick with it til she weens herself, or around 15-18 months, which ever comes first. Its the hardest thing I have ever done. & I saved us tons of money we didn't have. No only if I could magically train her to use the potty, I could save us tons of diaper money too!
I think about how much money and calories I would save if I was an alcoholics. They have a built in savings plan. If they could quit, look how much money they could save, and look how much weight they would lose. Too bad I don't drink. Can't give up what I don't do. I could save $ and lose weight! WIN WIN for alcoholics.
I am jealous of alcoholic, I am an ASS.
This totally turned into a self pity session.
I really do suck.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
sad to be dissapointed.
I used to love Christmas time. Its partially the reason I got married right before christmas. The other reason is a whole other huge story. No time for that though.
My 5 year anniversary was less then stellar. I got Pdubs a nice braclet with something engraved on it & it matches his wedding ring. I put alot of thought into it. I don't think he apperciates it. Oh Well.
Guess what I got.
Go ahead, bet you'll never guess.
Its something I was expecting.
Go ahead, just one guess, then I will tell you.
I got....
NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. ZERO. GOOSE EGG. NOT EVEN A CARD.
Kinda hurts. But like I said it was expected. I mean five years & you couldn't be bothered to duck into the dollar store and buy a card for .50 cents.
Yep. Well like I said. I expected it. I mean you really couldnt even be bothered to GO to a store and buy my engagement ring. guess I shouldnt be too shocked... and I'm not shocked really. Just dissappointed.
I didn't want anyting spectacular or pricey. Just a card even. Sometimes I dont think thats too much to ask for.
My 5 year anniversary was less then stellar. I got Pdubs a nice braclet with something engraved on it & it matches his wedding ring. I put alot of thought into it. I don't think he apperciates it. Oh Well.
Guess what I got.
Go ahead, bet you'll never guess.
Its something I was expecting.
Go ahead, just one guess, then I will tell you.
I got....
NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. ZERO. GOOSE EGG. NOT EVEN A CARD.
Kinda hurts. But like I said it was expected. I mean five years & you couldn't be bothered to duck into the dollar store and buy a card for .50 cents.
Yep. Well like I said. I expected it. I mean you really couldnt even be bothered to GO to a store and buy my engagement ring. guess I shouldnt be too shocked... and I'm not shocked really. Just dissappointed.
I didn't want anyting spectacular or pricey. Just a card even. Sometimes I dont think thats too much to ask for.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Random Babble
More Random Babble... Yay for you!
1. I tried to make pumkin cheesecake cupcakes. I did not have all the proper ingrediants. They taste good, look horrible. Atleast my cream cheese frosting is AMAZING!
2. I have laundry to the ceiling to do.
3. It annoys me to NO END when women wear shelf bra tank tops and think they don't have to wear a real bra. Most peoples tittays are way to sagg-ay for that. Its gross.
4. Beast's smile makes my heart melt. Its adorbs.
5. My mother turned me on to kcups ice coffee. Its yum. Its also dangerous. This means ice coffee all day long. I am pretty sure that I put more sugar in my coffee then is in a pepsi. I have cut back on pepsi to one like every 4th day or so. This could be a problem. I need to buy splenda.
6. I love love love my white fossil watch. If I could marry it, I would. Its classy. My husband is not.
7. Beast rolled over the other day, I missed it. Pdubs saw it. It a bittersweet feeling for me. I love that he got to witness a "first" since I always have to tell him about them. Awesome for him to finally see one rather than hear about it. but I didnt see it. I heard about it. I missed a first. I am sad.
8. My dogs went on a mini vacay to there favorite place. Aunt Deanns house. I was sad to see them come home.
9. Yoga booty ballet kicked my ass yesterday. Today is P90 express. I am sure I will be in tears by the end. GOOD.
10. I love Christmas time. I am dreading it this year.
11. Bug should be cast in the next KickAss movie.
12. Bug's teacher sent home a newsletter. It had a list of what she was thankful for with every students name. She is thankful for Bug's reading skills. I was relieved when I read this. I was glad she wasnt thankful for "enthusiam". We all know that means, that kid be crazy! I am Proud.
13. Breast feeding makes me feel like a cow. Boob juice be flowing!
14. I need to find a job, one that will let me milk myself when I need too. So waiting tables - out the window. Too bad its the only thing I am good at.
15. I hate that I have to find a job. It makes me a little hostile. I want to raise my kids, not let some idiot do it. I want to be that idiot. It pisses me off. I resent it, and am starting to resent the reason why.
On that note, now I am pissy and will take it out on my dishes. Your welcome.
1. I tried to make pumkin cheesecake cupcakes. I did not have all the proper ingrediants. They taste good, look horrible. Atleast my cream cheese frosting is AMAZING!
2. I have laundry to the ceiling to do.
3. It annoys me to NO END when women wear shelf bra tank tops and think they don't have to wear a real bra. Most peoples tittays are way to sagg-ay for that. Its gross.
4. Beast's smile makes my heart melt. Its adorbs.
5. My mother turned me on to kcups ice coffee. Its yum. Its also dangerous. This means ice coffee all day long. I am pretty sure that I put more sugar in my coffee then is in a pepsi. I have cut back on pepsi to one like every 4th day or so. This could be a problem. I need to buy splenda.
6. I love love love my white fossil watch. If I could marry it, I would. Its classy. My husband is not.
7. Beast rolled over the other day, I missed it. Pdubs saw it. It a bittersweet feeling for me. I love that he got to witness a "first" since I always have to tell him about them. Awesome for him to finally see one rather than hear about it. but I didnt see it. I heard about it. I missed a first. I am sad.
8. My dogs went on a mini vacay to there favorite place. Aunt Deanns house. I was sad to see them come home.
9. Yoga booty ballet kicked my ass yesterday. Today is P90 express. I am sure I will be in tears by the end. GOOD.
10. I love Christmas time. I am dreading it this year.
11. Bug should be cast in the next KickAss movie.
12. Bug's teacher sent home a newsletter. It had a list of what she was thankful for with every students name. She is thankful for Bug's reading skills. I was relieved when I read this. I was glad she wasnt thankful for "enthusiam". We all know that means, that kid be crazy! I am Proud.
13. Breast feeding makes me feel like a cow. Boob juice be flowing!
14. I need to find a job, one that will let me milk myself when I need too. So waiting tables - out the window. Too bad its the only thing I am good at.
15. I hate that I have to find a job. It makes me a little hostile. I want to raise my kids, not let some idiot do it. I want to be that idiot. It pisses me off. I resent it, and am starting to resent the reason why.
On that note, now I am pissy and will take it out on my dishes. Your welcome.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
slightly surprised!
Having the PDubs away for a few days isnt going as horribly as I thought it was. To tell you the truth it.. the days leading up to his departure, for me, were more stressful. I was worried that I wouldnt have enough hands to do everything, my nerves would be shot by the evening of day one without him here to just give me a second to catch my breath so to speak. I dont feel overwhelmed at all. I was even able to reaarange some furniture without him here! (thanks little sister for helping me out)
The only moment I really hated was having to pack us all up to run to pick up the drycleaning. This is something I would normally leave the kids home with him for. Or send him to do... It was alot of prep work for the ten minutes we were gone. But he needs his work clothes. So off we went! I did it! I felt like I accomplished something. Yay Me!
The only moment I really hated was having to pack us all up to run to pick up the drycleaning. This is something I would normally leave the kids home with him for. Or send him to do... It was alot of prep work for the ten minutes we were gone. But he needs his work clothes. So off we went! I did it! I felt like I accomplished something. Yay Me!
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